THIS MONTH IN VOGUE
Since I’ve had a hellacious commute for a little bit, I’ve allowed myself the luxury of picking up magazines when taking the LIRR. A good test for the healthiness (and quality) of magazines at this point is its simplest: will it entertain me for the duration of my 45 minute ride?
The answer, often, is a resounding NO. Even the venerable, full-of-words O Magazine (my favorite by a long shot) is only making it, just barely, to the end. But the January 2010 issue of Vogue? Took me a grand total of 15 minutes at most. It was like a pamphlet and felt like it was as quick of a read as Entertainment Weekly. And Entertainment Weekly takes me 5 minutes.
So, let’s start: Cover article on Rachel McAdams. It is one full page and one half-page of words. I would guess it’s 1500 words at most - mostly filled with paragraphs trying to incorporate Keel’s Simple Diary. Since Sally Singer wrote it and not Plum Sykes, it’s relatively charming and you get an idea that McAdams is normal and sweet. It’s low of quotes or anything implying that they hung out for more than an hour. McAdams has always stayed relatively mysterious, and frankly, I want to know more! Not to hear quotes from Diane Keaton with awkward grammar.
There’s no entertainment section in this month’s Vogue. I would guess that’s due to the what’s coming in 2010 vs. putting it to bed in October issues, but still. Nothing? Books are released! People can get excited about movie awards! David Mamet on Broadway! There’s so much that could be there!
There’s a fashion spread featuring Carey Mulligan that’s horrible. The hairdresser hoboed out her short red pixie into ratty clumps. I think they were going for something that was adorable and Chaplin/hobo esque. It’s sheerly hobo, though. The column, that’s only about 600 words of look out for this girl, is boring and rote.
There’s a big fashion spread with Sasha Pivavoria and “buzz bands,” who are mostly “indie” genre bands on major labels that have been trying to break for the past two years. The Horrors? Really? They don’t have the songs, their “goth” hair is stupid, and even Ultragrrrl couldn’t make them work. I don’t find MGMT particularly interesting (when’s their Moby moment going to pass? I feel like “time to pretend” was as ubiquitous as that Moby album when it came to product placement…), dude from Beirut, whatevs., and stop trying to make “Chester French” work. They’re not going to work. A high percentage of these bands are just major label signings in the wake of Of Montreal breaking through, as far as I can tell.
Other material: a long article on a fancy spa in some abandoned town.
Someone trying to make Lara Stone surviving being a size 4 in the fashion world relevant. Good for her…but that still doesn’t really make her “curvy,” guys. It’s insulting to your audience who are not models.
And then the best dressed of the decade. And it was boring. You are done!
(This is fuel for the fire that I am making the right choice by, essentially, saying goodbye to my magazine dreams.)