Wayback Machine: Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, and Nick Frost in a SUV

[Fun interview to do, genuinely nice guys. On the Hot Fuzz DVD special features, there is a quick shot of my big head backstage when they’re in Cambridge, MA. I only learned about it from two dudes that I didn’t know so well separately telling me. Very odd. I saw Simon Pegg in NYC years later and we had a quick chat and it was very pleasant and I felt like I was moving on up in the world. Also, let’s be honest: look at that Joe Cornish, who made an awesome film!]

In the midst of a whirlwind world tour to promote their new film, ‘Hot Fuzz,’ the jokes are fast and furious

By Elisabeth Donnelly
Globe Correspondent

“Sweden, New Zealand, Australia, the UK for four days, Amsterdam, then New Amsterdam, New York, and then we came to Washington, and then here,” said the floppy haired Edgar Wright, director of the new cop spoof “Hot Fuzz,” the follow-up to 2004’s much-loved zombie romantic comedy “Shaun of the Dead.”

“In two days we’ll be in Chic-aaaago,” added actor Simon Pegg, attempting the rounded vowels of a Boston accent.

“All in the span of about three weeks,” finished Wright, “We’re slightly going on dementia where certain phrases get stuck in a loop.” Wright and “Fuzz” stars Pegg and Nick Frost were in junket land, where the city changes every 36 hours and nearly every second of their time is devoted to working on their online video blog, charming their legion of ardent fans at regional “Hot Fuzztivals,” and giving the press interesting quotes – such as Wright’s assertion that “ 'Hot Fuzz’ is ['Armageddon’ director] Michael Bay meets Agatha Christie.” (A more accurate quote would replace “meets” with a rude and hilarious sexual innuendo)

The multitalented funnymen, longtime collaborators also known for the cult British TV show “Spaced,” were jet-lagged and exhausted yet committed to providing the best “Hot Fuzz” preview screening experience possible. The 30-something Fuzzers convened in the lobby of the new Ritz-Carlton early Sunday afternoon before heading to Cambridge for the screening. Pegg, who is skinnier and more attractive than his shlubby film persona suggests, was the first one to appear, wearing a navy-blue army cap pulled low over his eyes. Wright was late as usual, and Frost, (“I call him Frosty and he calls me Peggy,” Pegg said) had disappeared for a smoke. In a surreal touch, a basketball team arrived at the hotel, and a continuous stream of extremely tall men poured into the hotel while Pegg talked about his and Frost’s night at “Old Bar or something,” where he drank so much that he ended up buying a commemorative T-shirt.

Once the “Hot Fuzz” team, including video blogger Joe Cornish, was accounted for, the four Brits jumped into the shiny black SUV that was taking them across the river to Harvard Square’s Brattle Theatre.

Cornish grabbed the front seat, turned on his camera, and pointed it at the back seat: “Act like I’m not here,” he said, then giggled. “I feel so anarchic not wearing a seat belt!”

“We’re constantly talking or blogging,” said Wright. “We did loads of it on the film, because we blogged our way through the shoot. Where did web blogging come from? Where did the actual verb come from, it’s medieval ”

“It’s weblog,” added Frost.

“It’s when they used to record things on logs.” Cornish joked.

“Big logs,” Frost said.

As the van went past Fenway Park, Frost and Pegg put their faces to the glass. “What’s Fenway Park like?” asked Frost, “Is it the home of the big green wall? Is it covered in ivy?”

“The last time we were here, in 2004,” he said, “they won the World Series.”

“We bring good mojo,” said Wright.

“Fenway Paaark,” Pegg said with an improved Boston accent.

Frost kept peering out the window with a curiosity befitting his naïve comic persona, asking, Where’s Harvard? Where’s MIT?

Pegg and Frost had a ready response to the eternal “Spaced” query, “Can dogs look up?” – an ad-lib that stuck thanks to a shoddy dog trainer on the set.

“They can’t. They really can’t.” replied Pegg.

“They can move their eyes up, but they can’t pivot their heads,” said Frost.

It makes sense, Frost explained, because dogs “have no airborne predators.”

In Cambridge, the Harvard jokes began.

“There’s a lot of tramps here,” Frost said. “They’re very smart tramps.”

“Can I have 5 dollars for my Michel Focault book?” Pegg asked.

The car pulled up to the Brattle, and the Fuzzers spilled out, transforming from loopy junket men to rock stars pressing the flesh.

They said “hi” to the cowed crowd before being whisked backstage via a circuitous route around the back of the building and through a side door. “This is just like 'Goodfellas!’” Wright said happily.

And then it was time to leave the stars to their duty. Their fans were waiting.

Originally published in The Boston Globe Thursday, March 29, 2007

Wayback Machine: Guy Fieri at the Copley Place Mall

[This is, of course, from 2007. And I must say while the guy’s “brand” is annoying, he was very personable like a friendly drunk uncle.]

At the Copley Place mall, the Food Network star proves that his future’s so bright, he has to wear shades

By Elisabeth Donnelly

Trying on Food Network chef Guy Fieri’s red Spy sunglasses makes a girl feel as cool as LeVar Burton playing Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge on “Star Trek: The Next Generation.” A slim pair of shades with rectangular mirrored lenses, they give an air of “mac” (as in “mac daddy,” to quote Fieri) to Fieri’s perfectly put-together look: bleached spiky hair, tattoos of grenades and horseshoes, and chunky gold and silver jewelry that he affectionately refers to as his “bling.”

Although Fieri’s biker look is a bit intimidating, in person he’s the same guy you see on TV: warm, friendly, charismatic, and a bit of a goofball. At the Copley Place mall a day before a Simon’s Super Chefs weekend of cooking demonstrations and autograph signing (he would spend more than two hours doing this at the Northshore Mall, and two more at the South Shore Plaza), Fieri’s goal was to check out the Sole Mio Sunglasses store. He’s a collector after all, and owns about 80 pairs.

His red Spy glasses matched his red Tex Wasabi’s T-shirt from the “rock ‘n’ roll sushi BBQ” he owns, with dueling logos of a cowboy riding a koi fish and a geisha riding a bull. Fieri’s tattoo artist did the lively cartoon logos, and Fieri loves them: “He busted it out so fat.” Back to the subject of his many pairs of sunglasses, Fieri noted, “As metro as that is, I sometimes [coordinate].” He then pointed out that his flip-flops come with a bottle opener on the bottom and proceeded to wrap a blue cloth napkin around Super Chefs producer Richard Gore’s head. Gore was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and the head wrap accentuated his sushi chef look.

Before Sole Mio, Fieri went into the kitchen store Williams-Sonoma. A 30-something California native who owns four restaurants there, Fieri took a particularly modern road to “celebrity chef-dom”: He won the second season of “The Next Food Network Chef” last year. Fieri was initially apprehensive about the reality show process, but “my buddies saw the first year of the show and said, 'Aw dude, you can totally do that.’ ” Fieri sent in a video on the last possible day and beat out 10,000 contestants on his way to hosting “Guy’s Big Bite” and “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” (the latter of which has featured Kelly’s Diner in Somerville.)

According to Fieri, his cooking career started when his mother got tired of her 10-year-old son’s complaints about her eggplant parmesan. His first attempt at a meal was a steak, some red sauce, and raw pasta that he crumbled up and put in the sauce. After taking a bite of the steak, his dad said, “This might be the best steak I ever had.” Laughing, Fieri admitted his father said something like that at every meal.

At Williams-Sonoma, Fieri chatted up the manager and talked about the three knives every kitchen needs: serrated, boning, and chef’s. He was particularly passionate about “honing down” his knives, a process of redefining and aligning the vertical tip of the knife that he likened to “making a mohawk.” After noticing the pristine 25-year-old aged balsamic vinegar on the shelves, he rhapsodized about the value of the vinegar. “It’s so misunderstood in American culture,” he said, citing the story about an Italian father who leaves a tub of balsamic vinegar to his son, who ends up selling it for two villas and a Ferrari.

“People get too lost in gadgetry,” said Fieri, and he pointed out products that actually are useful – the lemon/lime hand juicer for one: “I’ve been using them like crazy on my show,” he said. The sight of an old-fashioned apple peeler inspired Fieri to think up an instant recipe that uses the machine to peel a potato into a long, curly string, which is then fried with garlic, parsley, and parmesan cheese.

Fieri headed to Sole Mio, talking about his love of sunglasses. “I am the master of all bling,” he joked. In fact, he’s figured out another way to wear sunglasses: on the back of his head. It’s the perfect place for storing sunglasses, and with such a sweet collection, ranging from Oakleys with a Bluetooth and iPod fitting to the aforementioned Spys, losing a pair would be a bummer. Heed his advice: Fieri is evangelical about his sunglasses, and while simple, the back-of-the-head trick is remarkably effective. Just one of the many fun facts you can learn from Fieri. 

Originally published in The Boston Globe Friday, June 8, 2007

Wayback Machine: Brooke Hogan at the Mall

[I found a cache of articles that I had written that don’t exist online anymore, so I need to put them somewhere so they’re going here for now. I feel like a screenwriter with no produced screenplays lately. And yep, I got to go to the mall with Brooke Hogan and it was weird, in an American way.]

As the headlining pop star on a mall tour, deciding to shop around the very mall where you’re due to perform later can be a complicated proposition.

On this Sunday in July, 19-year-old “Hogan Knows Best” star and potential pop princess Brooke Hogan is set to headline the Simon DTour Live! Concert at the Emerald Square Mall in North Attleborough. For most of the day, Hogan eats pizza with her dancers and manages a series of meet ‘n’ greets with her young fanbase and interviewers.

Her mother, Linda, familiar to any fans of VH1’s Hogan-family reality show, stands imperiously in a corner, all blond hair, leopard print, and sky-high clear Lucite heels. The possibility of Hogan’s perusing a store requires negotiation with Linda, Hogan’s handlers, and the mall security guard.

Their decision: While shopping, Hogan can pose for pictures with her fans, but no autographs, please.

Hogan is hoping to cruise either the Forever 21 or Rave shops, but before she gets there, like a magpie, she’s drawn into junior retailer DEB.

“Cute!” she squeals, inspecting the shiny hot-pink heels on display. At 5'11", Hogan cuts an imposing figure, and she has the same cleft chin as her famous father, wrestling legend Hulk Hogan. For the teenager, fame and music has been wrapped together with her TV show. “The show hits all demos,” Hogan says, tapping on her Coke with manicured black nails, Fendi bag on her shoulder. “The show has good role models for kids.”

The store doesn’t have the pink heels in her size, and Hogan makes her way to the jewelry. Many of Hogan’s fashion choices are for the sake of performing, she explains, while fingering handfuls of shiny bangles: “They look like diamond bracelets from afar … Good for show.”

Hopped up on caffeine, Hogan flutters back to the shoes, muttering “10, 10, 10” as she browses the too-small offerings. “I’m a 12 ½,” she says. “My feet are, like, spreading by the minute.”

Hogan loves wearing heels, which she feels look best with “pants that are really long, or skirts that are really short.” She grabs a pair of white heels to give to her mom. “You know how hard it is to be a woman and have shoes that don’t fit?” she laments.

Besides her duties as a pop star, Hogan is beginning work on a clothing line. “We’re in the baby stages,” she says while inspecting a flashy prom dress, paying careful attention to its rhinestone and sequin detail. She adds, “I never wear pink, because I feel like a giant Barbie Doll.” When it comes to fashion, Hogan says, “I don’t exactly stick to one trend. I like to wear stuff that makes an impact.”

Teenage girls and 'tweens interrupt Hogan and ask for a photo; she happily complies. After a talk with her fans, Hogan brings her armful of goods up to the cashier, throwing a large Tweety Bird lollipop on the pile. “I’m going to get this for my dancer, to come onstage with for the song 'Tasty’,” she says. After a sweep through the store, Hogan’s jewelry, shoes, and apparel come to about $150. “I’m in a daze. You ever get in that stage where you’re just staring?” she asks, the shop-girls nodding in agreement. Then they ask for a picture with her.

Going through her purchases, Hogan points out her armfuls of bangles – a gift for her best friend, even though her pal sticks to jewelry by Jacob the Jeweler, nee Jacob Arabo, the famed hip-hop “bling king.” Hogan, on the other hand, likes “the cheap stuff.” She recounts her last visit to Jacob’s, where she did buy something – a watch – and starts to describe the diamonds on the timepiece as she exits DEB, but is distracted by the troop of teenage girls posing as mannequins in the store window. “Do you really do that?” says Hogan to the girls. 'Are you serious?“

The girls are in sparkly dresses, standing like Edgar Degas’s "Little Dancer of Fourteen Years” – one leg pointed forward, hands behind their backs – trying not to break their poses.

“I’ve never seen that before! That’s really crazy, too!” bubbles Hogan, standing outside the window and gesturing at the girls.

She breaks the spell: Flattered by the pop star’s attentions, the “mannequins” are now smiling and giggling as they try to hold their positions, keeping one leg pointed forward.

Originally published in The Boston Globe on Thursday, August 6, 2007.